What's In My Head

Sunday, 31 January 2010

More drama than a soap opera.

I love and hate my life and that's the truth. I hate it because so many negative events happened and will happen and I'm very sure of that. Every of such occurrences always seem to smack truth into me - the continuing domino effect of my faults and mistakes. These problems never cease to bring me down - it hurts so terribly in the inside but crying is never really an option. I was weak and that weakness was what caused all those screw ups.


Every event scars me and that those scars heals eventually. Strengthening my heart in the process. What used to hurt so badly, hurt a lot less. What used to make me want to cry now makes me vengeful and fuels me to fend off my problems. The naive part of me still exist but lessening in the short-sightedness when seeing a problem. My eyes were forcefully opened to view the ugly side of the world - the side I ventured and got lost and end up having to remorse my past but I will not let my past define me. Instead, I will continue to search the real me - a path so confusing, I once lost track of who I really am. I'm still stuck in the middle, still choosing which side I really want to go.

But at least I'm happy now.

I'm happy because I have friend whom I can say "I'm not normal" to them and they still accept me for who I am. For that, I'm really grateful. I admit that I'm odd in a certain way but that oddity is no reason for me to be not be happy in life. However, if it wasn't for my friends, I think I wouldn't be here.

Acceptance brings me salvation.

So please accept me.


Yesterday was my birthday and I had loads of fun. =)

Thanks to all for those wishes all of you spammed in my Facebook. It was tiring replying all of those wishes but I did my best. Frankly, I don't really like my birthday to be celebrated, that's why I prefer to just receive wishes only.

And and and..

Yesterday was very lovely =)

Well, most of it anyway.


Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Addiction | Salvation

It's 430am now and yet I'm still not asleep. In fact, I'm still quite awake - probably because of all those caffeine from nescafe. Class starts in another 5 hours and a half but I don't care, sleep, to me, is a waste of time. If time to sleep were to spent for something else, that would make my life much more eventful since I always forget what I dream about. That sucks terrible.

Anyway, I'm slightly better now. Happy birthday and Thanks lotsa to Mr Justin Lim Poahong for cheering me up back then. You've always been the ears where I can complain and complain. It's not like it's uncommon seeing joining this zoo of Blog Animals.

Wow, a sudden urge to sleep appears. Ah btw, speaking of addiction, I did have my own share of addiction of something. No, it's not cigarette nor drugs but something else. Plus, I won't ever say who was that, what was that and stuff like those. I am however determined to repeat those mistakes. haih..

Monday, 25 January 2010

Living a life

I'm lost and my thought are everywhere. Loud music drowns everything else - a bliss. I'm not okay. It's my fault, right?

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Abberation of a stupid idiot

Once again, out of the blue, I went into hiatus which happens so often to the point of sickening. That is true, provided, of course, there are those who follow or perhaps even readers of my sick lil' blog. However, I will be optimistic on this matter as I am, though people would strongly beg to differ, sensible. So here I am, sitting uncomfortably on my plastic chair, typing away crap or in a more subtle word, manure, which I so wanted to do for a very long time. This is, after all, my passion - the norm of society, of course, wouldn't be part of its descriptive. Nonetheless, I shall pursue this zest of mine with great paroxysm. Note that this nonsense ends when I stop breathing.

*Holds breath*

Today's Sunday and is usually the most boring day of the week. Partly because it's the last day of the weekend and definitely because of the classes on the very next day. However, today's Sunday is an exception. Why? Because I said so and what I say supersede all logic and explanation. Anyway, I had a really fun weekend, thanks to my brother for taking the whole family for a random holiday. I needed it.

Went to Malacca and had a blast, we stayed in some condo in A'famosa, the lively and dead holiday place. It's lively because people seems to annoyingly flock recreational spot. I see it dead because a lot of land space are yet to be utilized and also because of the shockingly poor maintenance despite being an international holiday area. Enough indulging on my baseless opinion. Let's get on to what I did.

Yesterday, after much delay due to me and my sis's inability to wake up at the right time, we all went to the water world. If I were to summarized the whole experience in there, I would've used the word "wet". However, since I'm such a good sport, I'll use more adjective, verbs, noun, conjunctive, and whatnot. Due to time constraint, we had to rush through the rides. We end being tired because of all the running up the stairs and not because of having too much fun, which we did, by the way - Immensely, if I might add. However, the experience would've been better if the water was not so concentrated with chlorine which I could detect even before I went into the water and also if I knew how to swim. Yes, people of the nonexistent world, I can't swim. In fact, the only way I could swim is the rock style - sink all the way down.

The day after that which is today. We tried on other recreational activity. Go kart was insanely fun. It was faster than I thought it would be and I had alot of fun crunching the pedal - satisfying my inner craving for speed. *evil laugh* What was really fun, however, was sharing it with someone else. In this case, my dad and my sis, I drove for 2 rounds. The first round, my dad was my passenger and my sis was my passenger in the last round. I drove slowly in the first round, I wouldn't want to give my dad a heart attack - I am a good son. The 2nd round, however, is a different story - I sped as if my life depends on it. Almost had an accident, though but it's no fun when your life is not on the line, right?

We did a few other things as well but I'm too lazy to write it up. However, I want to highlight the fact that throughout my stay in Malacca, I ate like a pig - munching and biting almost non-stop.
I feel as if people are avoiding me =(
Herm, guess I'm picking up.