My formal response for another formal response to a formal request

Dear Miss Zhu

RE:RE:Proposal for Romance

In response to your quondam letter in which my proposal was rejected, It is an etiquette of a gentleman that I, at the very least, express my gratitude for considering and actually read my letter of proposal. I would also like to note that I find your firm's pride in quick decision making rather appalling as it clearly proves that female homo Sapiens generally do not utilize their brain in any matter but instead, rely on their limbic system in decision making - It's the part that controls emotion, in case you don't know which I'm very sure to the point of certainty that you don't.

As for the rationale behind your rejection, I have zero interest in such trivial matters as it is merely a rambling from the degenerated and old. Please note that I do not have, as you phrase it, "presumptuous attitude" but rather pity from a successful and reasonable youth to an unwanted and frail woman whom should qualify to be a grandmother. Also, please think before you write ; in your letter, you clearly state in the same paragraph that you were not going to reveal the rationale but you end up writing 6 reasons which, in my honest opinion, vividly shows that you are overly proud and downright dumb.

Below are the response to your reasons:

1. I'm taking this love agenda into a serious business-like manner to suitably depict your current biological age which I need not explain as you should be up-to-date in matters pertaining to your age.

2. I'm saddened by the fact that you are completely oblivious to your own feelings. Let me remind you that during our last meeting, you were blushing to to the point where your face matches the blood red lipstick that you wear so generously on your meaty part on your face that you call as lips.

3. Again, pertaining to the meeting we had, I would gladly prompt you that you were the one who were so enthusiastic in meeting me - the thick sweat marks under your armpits were apparent to public and thus, proving my point.

Please do not get over yourself over my past letter as it was intended for your sister - making you a mere medium that I had to use to get to your sister, who is infinitely a better treat for the eyes compared to you and much importantly, has a heart. I'm pretty sure there is a void of emptiness in your chest which is suppose to be where the heart is. Good news is, you do not have to reply to this letter as I am currently dating your sister and she is my lover with good prospects in being my future wife. As for your size 14 shoe, I gave it to the rats. However, they, too, rejected it due to its unfavourable odour that is strongly radiating from your it.

Thank you

Not yours truly,
Mr. Loh